Originally written on March 1, 2010 at 8:57 AM
Girls as people say, would love to be treated as a princess. Well, though I have never dreamed of being a princess, I do admit that the thought of being pampered and spoiled really is nice =)
Why did I ever bring this topic in this space?
Guess it must be the mellow lovey dovey mood that I currently have *laughs*
I’ve been watching the movie PS: I Love You and also reading the book (which kind of amazing since both has similar yet unlikely story line). The main story is about two lovers, Gerry and Holly. They were both getting married in quite a young age and along their journey, Gerry passed away of brain tumor. Holly was having such a hard time facing the fact that half of her heart had gone away. But Gerry had not said ‘goodbye’ yet, in many surprising (previously arranged) ways, Gerry helped Holly to be strong on her own and to find her life again after he has gone.
The story was very sweet and definitely made me wonder, if such love exist =) It’s not that Gerry and Holly always lived in a peaceful life. They both argued, they both yelled at each other yet they both love each other deeply. They were both lovers and best friends.
Some of my female friends told me that it's kind of impossible for them to have a relationship with their male best friends. they just simply don't believe that the male best friends can be a good mate for them, since they have known the guys for years...from the good side to the bad side. and most of the time, the bad side gets the most highlight then the other side, so the idea of getting into a romance relationship with your best friend is a big NO-NO.
That's quite the opposite of what I think...because i think, having a romance relationship with a best friend would be great since best friends are those who are sticking with you through the ups and downs, who will still accept you though you look awful in the morning, who will understand that sometimes when you mad, none of your harsh words are serious, who will give you time to be alone when you need it because they understand that sometimes words are not what you need to mend the heart, who shares your uniqueness, thoughts and those who love you enough to confront you when you are wrong and in the same time, so are you to them
Although, i have to admit that sometimes it sucks to have fallen for a best friend, because might be two results of the situation:
1. the feeling's mutual, congratulations! you and your best friend can just simply move into a deeper relationship.
2. the feeling's not mutual, either from you or your best friend, and this can cause such awkward moments. sometimes the friendship survive but most...--sadly-- not.
Another fact to consider is, if you guys have been getting through the number 1 and you guys had problems that caused the relationship to break up, there might also be two results. one, you guys have a nice break up and still be friended after or two, you guys have a nasty break up and don't talk to each other ever again.
How a choice always have the risk of sacrificing something...*SIGH*
Yet however, it's never wrong to LOVE but we have to remember that, to LOVE means to have the risk of NOT BEING LOVED in return. if we are willing to accept the risk then...welcome to the REAL WORLD
I was thinking a lot about marriage and come to a conclusion that LOVE will need someone to stand for her and that someone is called as COMMITMENT. without commitment it's so hard to keep love.
In a relationship, things will not go smoothly all the time. the person we love can be the person we hate in an instant. Not only in romance relationship, this fact is also there in our relationship with family and friends. we need commitment to keep showing them the love and to keep the relationship healthy.
but sadly, THIS IS WHAT THE WORLD IS MISSING.
With all the media publicity of the well-known people divorcing their spouse with such cliche reason such as "We don't find anything in common anymore." or "We don't get along very well anymore." plus the inducing media that makes marriage and divorce seem like a light subject to deal, we have been mislead to the fact that IF YOU FEEL YOU DON'T LOVE EACH OTHER ANYMORE, YOU ARE FREE TO WALK AWAY FROM YOUR MARRIAGE. Let me ask you then, why did you get married in the first place? wasn't it because you find something in common with your spouse? wasn't it because you see something in your spouse that nobody else sees and you fell in love with your spouse because of that? so, why are you doing something that goes against yourself now?
To fall in LOVE is easy. snap-snap. but to KEEP IN LOVE takes a whole lot of effort. especially when all the bad habits of your spouse are coming up to the surface.
That's why it's better for us to know who are we going to get in tide with. We need to really open our eyes to know who are we going to get married to. Like what God told me, "don't let your heart fall when your mind can't follow." meaning? keep your brain works when you're falling in love. Don't just close our eyes to merely follow what we feel. Because if we can think clearly, then what we think can become what we feel and that will give us more chances to think twice for our choice of marrying someone.
I think of marriage as a sacred thing. A moment when you really give yourself to someone for the rest of yourself. A moment when you have made a promise before God and men that you will walk the journey together, in better or worse, in richer or poorer, in health or sickness until death do you part.
THAT'S THE KEY: THE PROMISE
Like a saying, a man is trusted by the way he keeps his promises. That works the same in marriage, we make a promise that need to be kept. We cannot keep a promise by depending on what we feel, we should keep a promise with whatever it takes. Just imagine this, if someone has promised to go out with you then break the promise just because he/she doesn't feel like going, how would that made you feel?
It's the same with marriage. A marriage is also a promise. A promise that we're going to love and spend our lives with someone no matter what. A promise that we should keep whatever it takes even when we don't feel like keeping it. If we decide to keep on loving and to think on the positive things although we don't feel like it, trust me, your feeling will follow your mind and action. That's what a commitment is, to keep the promise.
If we can't keep one promise and we just walk out when the things get tough, i can guarantee almost one hundred percent that we won't keep the next promise we make. we will (again) walk out once the things get tough. it doesn't have to be a marriage but also in the simple things we do in our ordinary days. if we can't keep the simple promises how could anyone ever expect us to keep bigger promise like a marriage? that sounds, impossible for me.
Marriage is not a game to play, marriage is another chapter of a journey. A phase that we need to really respect and truly honor. I love the verse in the Bible saying that when man and woman are joint in marriage, it means they are no longer two but one. To my sense and understanding, when something is become one, that means if we hurt one part, the other part will feel it too. That come to a conclusion that if you hurt your spouse, you're hurting yourself as well.
YET AGAIN...
We can all argue that what i have elaborate are just theories too good to be true and I won't give any comment to that because I have not yet been married myself. All opinions that I wrote here, were the result of my observation and close watching to the married couples around me, also the Bible (in which i believe as the truth).
One day, what I wrote here will also be tested on me and I'm looking forward to that day
I pray may I be the best woman for the man I will marry and the best friend that he can ever have (well, second best after God, of course ;)) and I pray may God be the center of our family, because I believe that marriage takes three. Me, him and GOD. without those three, it won't make it.
And for you girls out there, I pray may you have the courage to trust God in leading the right man to you. Don't settle for less if you can have the best. Be courageous enough to love and carefully guard your heart. Think twice before you make the big decision because a marriage is not the final destination but it's a new journey of a life behind the curtains and last but NOT LEAST, include GOD in everything, tell Him how you feel, listen well to His guidance, believe me, He cares, He understands and He knows what's best.
