Contentment.

what is contentment? the state of being contented; satisfaction; ease of mind. (dictionary.com).

living in the asian culture to be honest can make me quite frustrated with all the social pressure regarding the definition of perfection. 

you are a perfect woman if: you have white skin, long black hair, flawless skin, tall and slim like the catwalk models, you marry a good man in the right "age", having good children, being a good wife and mother to your child, growing old and be a happy old couple with your husband as the children have great life, career and family. 

good grace!

in a big family reunion, people will ask you if you have a boyfriend already and if you have get married or not and they will make a fuzz if the answer is NO. all the WHYs, judgemental opinions and lots of advices of the NEED TO FIND A NICE GOOD MAN TO SETTLE DOWN AND HAVE A FAMILY.

YEAH! like that kind of man is easy to find. besides, I DON'T WANT TO FIND, I WANT TO BE FOUND. less effort in that matter.

in another chance, you will find people looking and measuring your height and weight, commenting on how you should get on a diet, grow your hair longer, go to the skin doctor to get your skin flawless (YEAH! like they will ever pay the expensive doctor's bills for me). what happened to BEAUTY IS A SKIN DEEP? guess that's just an idealist saying. what if i was born the way i am, that i gain weight as easy as snapping my fingers and hardly losing it, that i just don't look good in long hair and i can't pay that darn skin doctor? would i be called as IMPERFECT? oh come on!

the cosmetics industry have played the biggest part in creating such image and sadly, it's a FALSE IMAGE.

i'd also say that the picture of having a complete and perfect life is when we get to spend the life with someone is way exaggerating. YES, God created EVE for ADAM, the reason people always use to excuse this IDEA of PERFECTION by having a husband/wife and build a happy family to then breed and fill the earth (FYI, the earth is already crowded now!) but God also created PAUL, who were single and wrote most chapters in the New Testament.

it's a very shallow thought to think that LIFE is just to work, build a family, raise your children and then retired. oh gosh, i can't really imagine living in a life so PLAIN like that.

my friend said, " we were born alone and we will die alone. so, why bother if we're still single until now? we're not in a rush or anything." she's RIGHT. getting married is actually just adding another problem to your life. you might think that if i'm getting married then i'd be HAPPY EVER AFTER. WRONG. getting married means twice the problems and you can't just run away from the commitment.

i found some people are so obsessed in getting married. it's a normal thing and i have nothing against it as long as it makes sense. you don't just marry someone because other people tell you that you should get married soon because you are getting older and that would be a shameful thing to be called an old spinster (which i found as a VERY RUDE thing to call a woman) and you don't just marry someone because all of your friends have married and you need to cope up with them. marriage is not a game to play and it's not for childish people as well. you need two adults to build a marriage. it's not about I LOVE YOU and YOU LOVE ME so let's get married. trust me, LOVE would last that long, COMMITMENT is the thing that keeps a marriage going (and help love to be rekindled again). 

and from the above definition of being PERFECT...i have absolutely NO IDEA why people put their standards on those things. 

not to mention, career. this one is rather work for men. if you have a good career, respected by many people and darn filthy rich then your life is perfect. i've seen how men put their integrity on stake just for the sake of having a better career, better position and so on. people who would sacrifice everything and everyone for his own sake. people who talk behind the back of the colleagues they don't like. people who don't want to do the right thing so they won't be blamed by their superior. during my years of working, i've seen that happened around me. not to say that i'm already perfect in work. NO. i have to admit that all those things have brought certain hesitation for me to go to work everyday, i came late, i didn't really have any excitement to go work and so on. i know that's wrong, that's something that i have to deal with God and also solve very soon. yet my point is this, CAN IT BE CALLED AS A PERFECT LIFE when you risk other people for your benefit? would it satisfy you to be on top yet hated by everyone?

for me, I DON'T THINK SO. it would be a very miserable life.

what are these things called PERFECT have to do with CONTENTMENT?

striving for those kinds of perfection will get you tired and sometimes, disappointed when you can't have what you want. 

LIFE IS NOT PERFECT, but IT'S NOT IMPOSSIBLE TO BE CONTENT.

you can follow all the ideas of perfection but if you can't learn to be content. you would only get frustrated. we need to learn to become content. counting our blessings and enjoying what we have. 

contentment is a state of mind. a condition where we can accept everything and everyone in our lives. a condition where we can appreciate life as it is. being content all the time is not easy but it's not impossible to do.

not that i'm against any competition or effort to lead an ambitious life to achieve a good career or living. NO, NOT AT ALL. everyone wants to have a good life and wants to be better at all time. BUT, we need to learn to be content when what we're expecting is not happening, we don't become greedy or then desperately do all things that will make us feel better. 

in a simpler words: contentment helps us to be grateful all the time. we don't get jealous if other people are better than us, we don't get jealous if other people have more things than us while we have been trying our best to make it, when people have all it takes to be called PERFECT in the world's eyes. those are part of contentment. contentment also means that we have a big enough heart to congratulate those who are more successful than us and those who seems to have a better living than us. we are proud of what we've done best and be satisfied for it :)