No Process Shortcut.

There are no shortcuts to any place worth going – Beverly Sills

I’m currently praying for something, something so specific that sometimes it scares me.

It scares me with the what ifs. What if the answer is not exactly like I want. What if I’m praying for the wrong thing. What if I missed out the real thing when I’m focusing myself to pray for this one thing. What if this is just a waste of time. What if I don’t like the outcome and I’m hurt again. WHAT IF ---

For the first time in my life, I’m seriously praying for this one thing, the matter of the heart.

I hate uncertainty when it comes to the matter of the heart, sometimes I want to speed things up but then again, I need to really learn to slow down, keep calm and be patient because nothing worth having comes easy.

YEAH RIGHT.

The uncertainty in the matter of the can mess up with my head sometimes, it has the chance to ruin my mood, my feeling, messing up with my intuition and cloud my judgement.

THAT DOESN’T SOUND RIGHT.

Yes, it does. Especially when this time, it’s my first time to really put on my request to God for this specific thing. I don’t know what He has in mind or what does He think of it now, but I know He knows how serious I am with this request (and He knows how crazy it is although it’s quite natural :p).

Before I decided to really pray for this, a friend told me, “Don’t hesitate to ask God, whatever His answer will be, just believe that you will not be disappointed and you will know why some things are not working and why other things are working.” – of course when it comes to the matter of the heart, it’s NOT THAT EASY to trust God. There’s personal expectation, personal wish, personal expectation, everything is personal.

In the end, I just hope that this one is worth waiting for and worth praying for. I also hope that I am patient enough to wait as He unfolds everything to answer my prayer, that I am brave enough to trust in His time and His answer and always be grateful in everything. I believe that if it’s worth having then it’s worth waiting and if it’s worth waiting, I believe God will give me the patience and the endurance.

Wish me luck and happiness! :’)