During the month of June, my church will talk about Family. Last Sunday, our pastor, Ps. Jose Carol spoke strongly about Godly Family. The message was so beautiful and so true that I wish to share it here along with some of my personal thoughts on the matter. No matter what kind of belief you might have, it won’t change the truth in the message and I believe that in one way or another it will bless your life as well.
Family is our first community in this world, a place to learn on how to relate with other people, a place where we learn our values in life and a place where we shape the way we look at ourselves.
Family is a place to learn and a place to grow. The root of the fruits that we will get in the future. A broken family will tend to produce broken children and broken children will then produce a broken family and the circle goes around.
Whether we realise it or not, family can be the solution to a problem or the cause of a problem, because what a child experience in his/her family is what he/she is going to carry to his/her future family.
We can’t choose the kind of family we were born into, but we can choose the kind of family we will build. That’s a fact that we cannot change no matter how hard we try to, but we always, let me say it again, ALWAYS have a choice to build the kind of family that we want.
I grew up in an imperfect family. Trust me, I think everyone in my family has an issue (including me). I had my hard times relating with my Mother, we used to fight like cat and dog, we endure a painful time of hurting each other because we simply thought that we couldn’t understand each other. I also had my had times with my Dad, dealing with his busy days at work, his hard transition from being a general manager of a respective company into an entrepreneur from scratch and simply dealing with the different kind of person he is now from what I used to know. I had my hard times with my younger brother as well, not the kind of a good sister who’s taking a good care of her little brother, I was too busy with my own issues that I didn’t really care about his issues and didn’t really
be there for him during his hard times like I should. I had issues with myself as well, dealing with my low self-esteem, depression and bitterness.
But, through the years, as I grow older and as we get closer as a family from the hardships that we managed to endure together, we found out that we’re still sticking out as one and we finally able to understand one another, being a little more forgiving and accepting each other as who we really are. Me and Mom, we can act like besties now, we share stories (although not my personal ones *winks*) , we share our burdens, we share our thoughts and sometimes she would discuss some family matters with me. Me and Dad, we still have our rough times, but as time goes by, we can slowly fix our relationship. Me and My Brother, we talked about things a lot now and I tried my best to stand by him on the tough times. And as for me, thanks to Jesus, my beloved Saviour, Father and Friend..He's the person who restored my broken image, covering me with His love all the time and never ever give up one me even when I just want to give up on myself :)
Through the past experiences with my family, I have learned a lot of things and took note of the things that I need to remember in building my future family and it has also made me feel grateful because through thick and thin, my family is still binded by the love that we have for one another.
As Ps. Jose said, there's no perfect family because family is built by two imperfect people, so it's impossible that the family would be perfect. Yet, however there is such thing as a Godly family. A Godly family is a family built by two imperfect people who put God as the foundation.
A family is a place to learn and grow as I have mentioned above, family is a place where a boy would learn on how to be a husband and a father as well as a girl would learn on how to be a wife and a mother. Children would always look up to their parents and whatever their parents do would affect them in any way. A boy would look up to his father and his father's way of treating his mother. A girl would look up to her mother and her mother's way of treating her father.
The relationship between the parents would be a reflection on the kind of family the children would build. So, for those who's in a relationship right now, if you want to see how your family is going to be, take notice of your partner's family background.
Many times people are failing in marriage because they fail to communicate their expectations towards their spouse when they are still dating so once they're married they are disappointed by the facts that they see from their spouse. That's why it is very important to really communicate to each other and be honest about the expectations that we have towards our spouse when we marry him/her so we can work on it before it's too shocking for us.
It is really hard to build a good family but it doesn't mean that it's impossible. It takes the work of two people who are willing to go further together. People can easily get married but to really stay in the marriage and build a good family needs a lot of hard work and effort.
One thing for sure is, we need to have the courage to deal with every problem that occurs in our family. We don't just give God the mess but also we need to work on the mess that we have created and let God do His part of restoration, healing and reconciliation. What we have learned in our family would somehow affect the family we might have in the future but there is always a choice to make a change and make the kind of family we want to build. Just don't forget to put God and His words as the foundation of our family and make our family a safe home for our children.
We are real
We make mistakes
We say I'm sorry
We are silly
We have fun
We give hugs
We give second chances
We forgive
We laugh a lot
We love each other
We are FAMILY
-JPCC's Breaking-
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