Mengampuni.

Mengampuni...itu hal yang paling mudah diucapkan tapi paling sulit dilakukan, terutama kepada orang-orang yang udah menyakiti kita sedemikian rupa. Lebih mudah bagi kita untuk merencanakan balas dendam dan berharap orang yang telah menyakiti kita juga merasakan rasa sakit yang kita alami. 


Ngga mau sok suci dan bilang bahwa mengampuni itu gampang, karena gw juga tau rasanya disakiti dan diperlakukan ngga adil. Mengampuni itu kadang ngga jadi pilihan utama buat gw karena di otak gw udah penuh segala macam plot balas dendam dan segala rupa kutukan untuk orang yang udah menyakiti gw dengan harapan dia menderita di dunia dan akhirat :D - tapi, semakin gw mengingat-ingat rasa sakit itu, semakin rasanya gw tertekan, kesel, sebel dan malah ujung-ujungnya sakit deh :) jadi, gw memutuskan untuk belajar mengampuni, meskipun dalam prosesnya masih berdarah-darah, but it's getting better :)


Mengampuni itu bukan untuk keuntungan orang yang menyakiti kita karena percayalah beberapa orang memang tampaknya memiliki karunia untuk membuat orang lain menderita sengsara dengan kehadirannya :D - Mengampuni itu lebih untuk keuntungan kita, kenapa? karena dengan kita mengampuni kita melepaskan diri kita dari pengaruh orang itu dan kita bisa terus menjalani hidup tanpa harus terikat pada masa lalu dan rasa sakit yang udah ditimbulkan sama orang itu, iya kalo orangnya sadar kalo dia salah dan udah nyakitin kita, kalo orangnya juga cuek-cuek aja dan hidup hepi-hepi, kita yang rugi. 


Ketika kita terus berkutat pada rasa sakit yang kita alami dan terus menerus mengingat-ingat hal yang menyakiti kita, maka fokus kita terhadap hal-hal tersebut akan membuat kita  tidak sadar akan banyaknya kesempatan untuk membuat kehidupan kita lebih baik (been there, done that dan nyeselnyaaa amit-amit)


Gandhi bilang kalau "forgiveness is the attribute for the strong" dan gw setuju banget, pengampunan hanya bisa diberikan oleh orang yang benar-benar kuat hatinya, kuat untuk menjadi berbesar hati dan melepaskan hal untuk membalas dendam, melepaskan rasa sakit yang kita rasakan dan berdamai dengan diri kita dan orang yang menyakiti diri kita. Namun bukan berarti bahwa ketika kita sudah mengampuni orang yang menyakiti kita lantas kita terus membiarkan dia memiliki kesempatan untuk menyakiti kita lagi. Kita harus belajar untuk menjaga diri kita sendiri dan menunjukkan kepada orang yang menyakiti kita, bahwa kita sudah belajar dari masa lalu dan dengan demikian dia tidak bisa lagi menyakiti kita. Dengan kata lain, kita sudah lebih pintar dan lebih kuat dari sebelumnya :) - gw percaya sih bahwa kejadian apapun yang terjadi di hidup kita itu pasti mengajarkan sesuatu untuk kita.


Alasan gw menulis post ini juga karena sebenarnya gw sedang mengalami perlakuan yang bikin gw sakit hati dan ilang respect sama oknum-oknum yang melakukannya. Gw akui bahwa dalam hal ini gw punya kesalahan tapi hal yang paling bikin gw 'eneg' adalah karena oknum-oknum ini kerjanya cuma ngoceh dibelakang dan berkoar-koar ngancem ini itu tapi begitu gw ada di depannya, mereka DIEM aja kayak ayam tetelo...singkatnya, mereka ngejatuhin gw di depan orang lain tapi ngga mau langsung konfrontasi ke gw...hore banget kan! :) - masih banyak hal aneh lain lah yang selalu dilakukan oleh oknum-oknum ini yang kadang cuma bisa bikin gw tersenyum kecut sekecut-kecutnya karena apa yang mereka lakukan itu...pengecut dan selalu ngejatuhin orang lain (i'm not the only victim, btw). 


Kesel? Pasti. Sakit hati? Udah ngga usah ditanya. Tapi, kalo gw ngebales mereka dengan perlakuan yang sama dengan apa yang mereka udah lakuin ke gw atau mencoba balas dendam dengan cara lain...buat gw kok kesannya gw menurunkan level diri gw ke level mereka dan rasanya kok...NGGA WORTH IT banget ya. Jadi daripada gw ikutan gila juga kayak mereka mendingan gw buktiin aja bahwa mereka boleh deh ngelakuin apa aja, gw akan tetap melakukan bagian gw, gw yakin Tuhan itu ngga diem kok dan gw yakin Tuhan bisa bela gw dengan banyak cara :) - makanya gw memutuskan untuk mencoba mengampuni mereka, SUSAH tapi kudu dijalanin daripada gw terus menyimpan sakit hati yang akhirnya cuma bikin hidup gw sendiri berantakan. Itu proses sih, karena sampe malem ini aja gw masih sakit hati sama perlakuan mereka, cuman yahh..udah mendingan daripada beberapa jam yang lalu :p dan gw pastinya butuh Tuhan untuk bisa memberikan gw kekuatan untuk terus mengampuni, tetap berbuat yang terbaik dan menjadi lebih baik.


Biarkan anjing mengonggong, kafilah tetap berlalu. Biarin mereka ngomongin apa aja di belakang gw, berusaha mencari-cari kesalahan gw, bersenang-senang di atas penderitaan gw dan terus berkoar-koar ini itu, monggo silahkeun...yang penting, gw akan tetap mengerjakan bagian gw dengan sebaik-baiknya. Kalo emang udah waktunya gw juga akan beranjak dari proses ini :)


Anyway, untuk menutup post ini, gw baru aja nemu lagu bagus dan semoga lagu ini juga bisa menguatkan semua yang sedang dalam proses MENGAMPUNI :) - selamat mengampuni!

CONNECT.

In this advanced technology era with hi-tech communication devices, it is very ironic that the connection between people is rarely to be felt on personal level. What I mean about "on personal level" is a face to face connection, a time well spent talking to the people around you to know them better.

I found out that in this era of social medias, modern gadgets and 24/7 communication line providers, people tend to embrace those who are far away and set aside those who are close to them. This phenomenon is often be found around us and maybe we're stuck in it as well.

One day, I saw a family sitting in the same table but each were busy with their own gadgets. They were barely communicating with each other. I guess it won't be a surprise if one day people would lose the ability to do a direct communication with other people. It's like we're cutting the "real" connection with other people.

If you don't see each other, it is very easy to hide everything. Let's say, I feel upset about something that you do, but by adding a smiley emoticon in the end of my text message I can ensure you that everything's fine. I can lie to you and say everything I want to you to believe through what I write without the fear that you would find that out because hey! we don't see each other. 

If you don't see each other, it is very easy to get misunderstood. Written words are often interpreted according to the reader. Most of the time, text messages are misunderstood just because we think the sender is using a certain tone that upsets us while the sender actually doesn't mean that way. 

If we communicate through a media it is very hard to really see if what is said and what is seen are real. We need to see a person face to face to know if he/she is lying or not, we need to know them to be sure that they are telling us the truth and that they are for real, we need to recognize their facial expressions, we need to see how they react and how they do things for real. Those things can't be done through any media but only through a real connection.

No wonder marriages are failing and relationships are breaking if people stop to connect to each other. My Pastor went to a marriage get away few days ago and he was surprised by the fact that when a romantic dinner for the couples was arranged and the couples were suppose to interact with each other, he found that most of them were busy with their own gadgets and when the event organizer told them to keep their gadgets away they seemed to be so confuse of what to do because they were not able to connect with their spouse. 

Connection is very important because then we could understand other people better and thus, avoiding misunderstanding and wrong judgment. That is why maybe all of us should learn how to re-connect with other people in an old way, going out for lunch or coffee. Taking time to really connect by talking, listening and paying attention to other people.

It is also a respectful gesture if you don't get busy with your gadgets all the time while you are with someone. It's not nice when you get busy updating your BBM status or twitter all the time while you have someone in front of you. Somehow it will give an impression that they are not that important to you and don't even worth your time because you are all busy with your "other social activities". Honestly, I don't consider such people as friends, because I think friends are those who would spend their time to catch up with you, they would set aside their gadgets and engage in a conversation with you because they would think you are more important than updating their BBM status or twitter. 

That's on friendship level. What about other relationship? Would you want to partner with someone who's constantly busy with their own gadgets while you are trying to explain to them about your business ideas? I don't think so. If they don't even have time to converse about the business how would you expect they would have time to do the business? Won't they think their "other social activities" are more important than the business? Uh-oh!


And in marriage level, would you spend your life with someone who cares more of his/her gadget than trying to have a conversation and connecting with you? I don't think so too.


See, connection is very important in all level of relationship. Connection builds intimacy that leads to trust, security and confidence. Connection helps us to understand other people better and also will help us to decide which relationship we should keep and which relationship we should say goodbye to. Connection will also help us to meet many opportunities and chances in life. It is an investment with a long term effect :)


Thus, take time to get away from your gadgets and start connecting now. You'll be surprised of where it can take you to ;)

The Original Article for Jakarta Banget Book.

This is the original article that I wrote for Jakarta Banget Book. The reason why I'm putting the article here is because I was quite disappointed by the printed version of my article. I don't know if there's some editing done to the article but some sentences are missing from the original article and somehow changed the meaning of the original sentences. However, I present you with the original article. The uncut version. Enjoy!

Note: my utmost gratitude to Rotary Batavia that has given me the opportunity to be part of the Jakarta Banget project in which the profit will go to the disabled people (you can get the book via @nulisbuku or www.nulisbuku.com). I do hope that this project would give them all the support they need. The project is dedicated for Jakarta City on its 485 anniversary and supported by the Jakartans.


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Jakarta, 10 April 2012, pukul 18.00 – Di sebuah warung kopi franchise terkenal di
Jakarta

Jakarta, mungkin hal pertama yang akan terbersit di benak orang saat mereka
mendengar kata itu adalah, MACET.

Yap, ibukota yang satu ini memang akrab dengan yang namanya macet, apalagi
saat menjelang jam-jam pulang kantor, lalu lintas menjadi semakin padat, belum lagi
jika ditambah dengan hujan yang mengguyur.

Beberapa orang yang enggan terjebak dalam kemacetan itu umumnya memilih
untuk pulang agak larut, hingga jam macet itu berlalu daripada terjebak di dalam
mobil atau di atas motor bersama ratusan pengendara kendaraan bermotor lainnya.
Termasuk saya, meskipun tidak mengendarai kendaraan pribadi, tetap saja saya
memilih untuk sejenak menunggu hingga lalu lintas sedikit mereda.

Duduk di warung kopi ini merupakan hal favorit saya - meskipun sebenarnya tempat
ini lebih terlihat mewah dari sekedar sebuah warung dan bahkan terletak di dalam
sebuah mall, saya tetap lebih suka menyebutnya sebagai warung kopi-. Mengapa?
Karena selain memberikan saya tempat untuk tempat menunggu kepadatan lalu
lintas hingga sedikit mereda, saya menemukan banyak hal menarik yang bisa saya
perhatikan disini.

Pengunjung warung kopi bertaraf internasional ini sangat beragam, sebut aja
serombongan ABG yang baru saja heboh saling menyapa satu dengan yang
lainnya, beberapa eksekutif muda sedang duduk berhadapan dengan laptop
masing-masing nampak sedang berdiskusi mengenai sesuatu, sepasang kekasih
yang sedang kasmaran duduk di sofa sambil bersandar pada satu sama lain dan
berbicara sambil berbisik-bisik dan tertawa-tawa kecil.

Saya tidak terlalu yakin bahwa semua pengunjung warung kopi ini memang
merupakan coffee drinker, sebagian besar mungkin iya, namun sebagian lagi
hanya sekedar nongkrong dan mencari suasana yang nyaman untuk sekedar
menghabiskan waktu, atau menjadikannya sebagai tempat untuk bertemu klien
maupun kolega bisnis.

Dengan kebutuhan eksistensi yang tinggi, masyarakat Jakarta pun tidak lepas dari
berbagai media komunikasi dan social media. Sampai detik ini saya heran bahwa
koyo masih juga belum merupakan produk yang banyak dicari orang melihat begitu
banyaknya orang yang selalu menunduk dan sibuk dengan Blackberry-nya.

Salah satu pemandangan yang saya lihat dari sudut warung kopi ini adalah seorang
ibu muda yang sedang duduk sambil sibuk mengetik sesuatu di Blackberry-nya
sementara di seberangnya duduk seorang baby sitter yang sibuk menyuapi seorang
balita yang sibuk kesana kemari. Sementara sang baby sitter kewalahan, sang ibu
muda tidak juga mengalihkan pandangannya dari layar Blackberry-nya. Sekali dia
berhenti dan mengangkat wajahnya, memandang anaknya yang masih tidak mau
diam, sekedar mengucapkan, “Diam dulu dong, nak. Makan dulu ya.” lalu kembali
sibuk dengan Blackberry-nya.

Saya cuma bisa geleng-geleng melihatnya. Saya bahkan pernah melihat sebuah
keluarga yang duduk di satu meja namun masing-masing sibuk dengan gadget
miliknya. Saya rasa suatu saat nanti, tidak akan ada lagi komunikasi verbal antara
manusia, yang ada hanya saling mengirimkan BBM (Blackberry Messenger) ataupun
pesan melalui media lainnya meskipun saling berhadapan. Mungkin, itu nantinya
gambaran bentuk komunikasi di masa depan, manusia perlahan-lahan akan lupa
bagaimana caranya benar-benar berkomunikasi secara langsung dengan manusia
lainnya.

Di kota metropolitan seperti Jakarta, tak bisa dipungkiri bahwa lifestyle atau gaya
hidup terkadang menjadi sesuatu yang menentukan eksistensi seseorang. Bahwa
menggunakan barang dengan merek tertentu, makan atau minum di tempat-tempat
yang memang sedang happening (baca: populer) dan bahkan memiliki gadget
terbaru dan termutakhir dapat meningkatkan gengsi seseorang itu bukanlah sesuatu
yang asing di Jakarta. Rasanya hidup menjadi lebih indah jika kita tidak ketinggalan
tren yang sedang beredar.

Hal ini tercermin pada gaya ibu-ibu muda sosialita yang riwa-riwi dengan tas
Louis Vuitton edisi terbaru maupun tas Hermes yang limited edition di mall-mall
elit Jakarta. Terkadang mereka mengenakan baju dengan mode terakhir tanpa
mempertimbangkan faktor apakah mereka benar-benar cocok mengenakan baju
dengan model tersebut hanya demi sebuah pengakuan, hal yang paling lucu adalah
ketika melihat mereka mengenakan sepatu mahal yang entah mengapa terlihat
sangat tidak nyaman dikenakan, karena sepertinya mereka kesulitan untuk berjalan
dengan mengenakan sepatu itu.

Melihat kondisi itu saya teringat pada sebuah pepatah yang mengatakan, “too
many people buy things they don’t need to impress the people they don’t evenlike” – “terlalu banyak orang membeli hal yang tidak mereka butuhkan hanya untuk
mengesankan orang lain yang bahkan tidak mereka sukai.”

Ironis memang.

Saya kemudian mengecek jam tangan saya, dan waktupun sudah menunjukkan
pukul 20.00, waktunya untuk pulang, semoga lalu lintas sudah tidak sepadat tadi.
Saya mengemasi barang-barang saya dan beranjak pulang meninggalkan warung
kopi itu dan beragam kehidupan yang berlalu-lalang di dalamnya, sebagian kecil
dari kehidupan kota Jakarta yang hingar bingar dimana sisi lain yang kontras di
dalamnya tertutup rapi dalam deretan anak-anak kecil yang mengemis di jalanan,
para pemulung yang hidup di tumpukan sampah dan tangisan dari mereka yang
harus pergi dari tempat tinggalnya karena terkena gusuran.

Jakarta, oh Jakarta.

180 Movie

i don't really care if you agree or disagree about some points in this video, everyone can have their own mind and it's not part of my concern either if you think that this is just a crappy video made to justify a certain religion, because obviously that's not my point why i'm putting this video in my blog. 

what interests me about this video is how people would contradict with their own beliefs and opinions. you might say that the guy in the video is very tricky in twisting people's mind, but if you carefully see, people often tend to see things in their own perspective and if they're confronted with other perspectives they can change their mind in a snap. what i want to say here is, if you believe in something, believe it in such way that you gain understanding and knowledge about what you believe. you have to really know why you believe what you believe and why you believe it so, you don't walk with a blind faith.

and remember, it is necessary that we see things from other perspectives before we decide what to believe. 

cheerio!

Big Miracle.

Big Miracle is a movie starred by Drew Barrymore and John Krasinski - which is an adaptation from a book written by Tom Rose, Freeing the Whales - with the synopsis from wikipedia.com as follows:

"Three California gray whales, trapped in a hole in the ice of the Arctic Circle, are discovered by television news reporter Adam Carlson (John Krasinski). Their plight is publicized after he does a feature on them, which he hopes might be his opportunity to move up to a larger TV market. His news story draws international attention and sets into motion a massive effort to free the whales from the ice.

Drawn into the collaborative rescue work are several normally hostile factions: Inupiat whale hunters, a Greenpeace environmental activist, an oil executive, ambitious news reporters, the National Guard, and politicians on the state, national and international levels. Also joining in the effort are two entrepreneurs from Minnesota, who provide de-icing machines to help keep the hole open."

For me, it's a beautiful movie. It's a movie about hope and kindness which at the same time also points out on how self-centered and manipulative mankind can be. I will post some thoughts  about some roles in the movie.

The Media.

The media played a major part in this movie. We can see how the media put an attention to a little place called Point Barrow, Alaska. It was amazing to see how the media can make a call of help to the global society to save the whales. 

For me, media is a powerful tool to deliver a message to people and even to move the mass in action over something. Media can be the voice for the voiceless. With such power and massive effect on people media should be in the hand of responsible people. 

Through the movie we can see how media is used by all parties to gain sympathy, support and even self promoting. It's so amazing what people would do just to get a good "cover story" for the news, what people would do to win the election, what people would do to gain support for a good cause and what people would do to gain the people's heart...and those things are manipulatively done through the media. 

Media can be used for a lot of good cause yet on the other hand, media also has a strong destructive power. It depends on how we use it. It can heal and it can kill. Especially nowadays, the media has more power in shaping people's mind. It's so easy to set a trend, a way of living through the media and for sure, it is very easy to manipulate people and to get people to do something. Once you catch people's attention, interest and heart, it's so easy to control them. So for those who work in the media, be responsible with the privilege that you have. Make sure that you deliver a message of truth, a message of facts and reality and make sure you educate people instead of messing with their heads and knowledge. 

The Politicians and The Business Man.

These people were the other related parties in the movie. If you watch the movie carefully, these people have no concern about the whales in the first place (well, except for the activists). All they care about is their reputation and their self image. Everyone is into the action of saving the whales just for the sake of "good image" and that's simply so selfish. 

Some people were ignorant about the whale issue until they found out that the issue had grown into a national issue and then they started to care because they were afraid of losing their supporters. Everyone takes a need from the event and it's so heart-breaking to see how people would make use of the unfortunates just for their own benefit. Although in the end everyone did sympathize over the whales, it's so scary to see the fact on how self-centered people could be.

The Activists.

These people were the only ones who truly care about the whales. They would fight against anything for the living rights of the whales although sometimes they could be a bit irrational. In the movie, the greenpeace activist stood against the Inuits, the native alaskan tribe who were known as the whale hunter. They hunted for living and that's just the way they lived for centuries since the age of their ancestors. The greenpeace lady argued with the Inuits because they would just let the whales died so then they could "harvest" the whales to sustain their life. She said that the Inupiats could still live from the oil company that sustain the city, but then one logical statement from one of the Inupiat leaders went like this, what if the oil dry and they have nothing left to sustain their life except to hunt whales for food and their next generation don't know how to hunt because they've never been taught how. 

Many people care about the environment and the nature but sometimes, they forget to educate the people and they forget to offer a real solution to the people. It's not always the plants, the animals and the earth that we're thinking about but we're also have people in it and they also worth to live. We blame people for destroying the nature, well, I do agree on that to some degree, because many people don't realize that they have been given so much blessings through the nature that they take everything for granted and being ignorant of the fact that the nature and everything in it are the ones that sustain their life. But, people do have the rights to live in this earth as well and we should not forget them. We need to educate the people and provide a solution to improve their lives while still balancing the nature, especially when it's related to the needs for living. 

The Inupiats.

The Inupiats are one of the native alaskan tribes. Just like native americans, the Indians, they have a strong bond with the nature. Although it seems like they're the ones who seemed to be the threat to the whales, they actually respect and care for the whales. We can see on how on of the tribe leader sang to the whales, listening to their sounds and even bow his head solemnly when one of the whales died. 

Those people who lived solely dependent to the nature, usually respect the nature even more that any environmental activist. They respect the circle of life and the life of the other living creatures. Of course they would need to be taught on how to preserve the nature resources but it doesn't mean that they know less than what we have known, when it comes to the nature, they know it best. They have their own way of living and somehow, we should respect that. 

The Whales.

" because even though they're strong and big and powerful..they're vulnerable too...what's heartbreaking is they know what's going on...they know they're in trouble and they are scared. and we ache for them too because they're so much like us. we get scared and we're vulnerable and we need help sometime too." - Rachel (the greenpeace lady in the movie)

it's one of my favourite quote from the movie. it shows us that animals also have the right to live like us and they are similar to us more that we could ever imagined. 

the whales, Fred, Wilma and Bam-bam (not Peebles because the young whale was a male) was definitely like any other family, they took care of each other and they stayed together until Bam-bam finally couldn't survive. Although they seemed so big and powerful, they're just as vulnerable and as fragile as us, humans. They can get scared too.  

Some animals might look rough and vicious but most of them would never attack if they don't feel threatened. I watched a documentary about the most poisonous snakes in the world on Nat Geo channel one day and after putting some ranks on the snakes from the less poisonous to the life-threatening ones, the narrator said something like this: "Even though they are considered as the deadliest snakes, humans are actually their biggest threat." 

We might get scared over the vicious image of sharks (thanks to the movie JAWS), we might get the paranoia that sharks would eat us just like that, but the fact is, sharks don't eat people. Many of the shark attacks happened because they mistook us for sea lions (and often happened to surfers who swam on the surface and looked like sea lions from underwater). And now, sharks are getting near to extinction because humans are consuming their fins and meat. Some people are even ignorant enough to hunt Sharks that are still carrying their baby inside of them. Some people even caught the sharks, cut their fins and then leave them on the sea to drown and died just like that. 

Now you can see that the real evil is not those vicious looking animals but humans. We are afraid of things we don't know and with our own hands we destroy the ecosystem and ruining our own homeland. We couldn't take care of our place to live. 


We don't need to wait for an opportunity to do something big to help the earth. All we need is our conscience to start caring for the place that we're living. We can start by throwing our trash into the right place, we can start by using recycle bags, we can start by taking care of the cleanliness in our home environment and we can also be the voice of the earth by passing valuable information about the condition of the earth to the people that we know and raise their awareness too. Remember that one simple action can start a chain reaction. Thus, if you care about the earth, start from small things and believe me that small beginnings can lead into bigger actions :) - start caring and start loving this earth and everything in it, because the earth however, is our home, our place to live :)

This Is Home.

During the month of June, my church will talk about Family. Last Sunday, our pastor, Ps. Jose Carol spoke strongly about Godly Family. The message was so beautiful and so true that I wish to share it here along with some of my personal thoughts on the matter. No matter what kind of belief you might have, it won’t change the truth in the message and I believe that in one way or another it will bless your life as well.


Family is our first community in this world, a place to learn on how to relate with other people, a place where we learn our values in life and a place where we shape the way we look at ourselves. 


Family is a place to learn and a place to grow. The root of the fruits that we will get in the future. A broken family will tend to produce broken children and broken children will then produce a broken family and the circle goes around.


Whether we realise it or not, family can be the solution to a problem or the cause of a problem, because what a child experience in his/her family is what he/she is going to carry to his/her future family.


We can’t choose the kind of family we were born into, but we can choose the kind of family we will build. That’s a fact that we cannot change no matter how hard we try to, but we always, let me say it again, ALWAYS have a choice to build the kind of family that we want.


I grew up in an imperfect family. Trust me, I think everyone in my family has an issue (including me). I had my hard times relating with my Mother, we used to fight like cat and dog, we endure a painful time of hurting each other because we simply thought that we couldn’t understand each other. I also had my had times with my Dad, dealing with his busy days at work, his hard transition from being a general manager of a respective company into an entrepreneur from scratch and simply dealing with the different kind of person he is now from what I used to know. I had my hard times with my younger brother as well, not the kind of a good sister who’s taking a good care of her little brother, I was too busy with my own issues that I didn’t really care about his issues and didn’t really
be there for him during his hard times like I should. I had issues with myself as well, dealing with my low self-esteem, depression and bitterness.


But, through the years, as I grow older and as we get closer as a family from the hardships that we managed to endure together, we found out that we’re still sticking out as one and we finally able to understand one another, being a little more forgiving and accepting each other as who we really are. Me and Mom, we can act like besties now, we share stories (although not my personal ones *winks*) , we share our burdens, we share our thoughts and sometimes she would discuss some family matters with me. Me and Dad, we still have our rough times, but as time goes by, we can slowly fix our relationship. Me and My Brother, we talked about things a lot now and I tried my best to stand by him on the tough times. And as for me, thanks to Jesus, my beloved Saviour, Father and Friend..He's the person who restored my broken image, covering me with His love all the time and never ever give up one me even when I just want to give up on myself :)


Through the past experiences with my family, I have learned a lot of things and took note of the things that I need to remember in building my future family and it has also made me feel grateful because through thick and thin, my family is still binded by the love that we have for one another.


As Ps. Jose said, there's no perfect family because family is built by two imperfect people, so it's impossible that the family would be perfect. Yet, however there is such thing as a Godly family. A Godly family is a family built by two imperfect people who put God as the foundation. 


A family is a place to learn and grow as I have mentioned above, family is a place where a boy would learn on how to be a husband and a father as well as a girl would learn on how to be a wife and a mother. Children would always look up to their parents and whatever their parents do would affect them in any way. A boy would look up to his father and his father's way of treating his mother. A girl would look up to her mother and her mother's way of treating her father. 


The relationship between the parents would be a reflection on the kind of family the children would build. So, for those who's in a relationship right now, if you want to see how your family is going to be, take notice of your partner's family background.


Many times people are failing in marriage because they fail to communicate their expectations towards their spouse when they are still dating so once they're married they are disappointed by the facts that they see from their spouse. That's why it is very important to really communicate to each other and be honest about the expectations that we have towards our spouse when we marry him/her so we can work on it before it's too shocking for us. 


It is really hard to build a good family but it doesn't mean that it's impossible. It takes the work of two people who are willing to go further together. People can easily get married but to really stay in the marriage and build a good family needs a lot of hard work and effort.


One thing for sure is, we need to have the courage to deal with every problem that occurs in our family. We don't just give God the mess but also we need to work on the mess that we have created and let God do His part of restoration, healing and reconciliation. What we have learned in our family would somehow affect the family we might have in the future but there is always a choice to make a change and make the kind of family we want to build. Just don't forget to put God and His words as the foundation of our family and make our family a safe home for our children.

We are real

We make mistakes

We say I'm sorry

We are silly

We have fun

We give hugs

We give second chances

We forgive

We laugh a lot

We love each other

We are FAMILY

-JPCC's Breaking-

don't push your luck.

"don't push your luck"...demikian kata temen gw, mas @matriphe di twitter :) 


sedikit banyak, atau lebih tepatnya...sangat banyak, gw setuju sama pernyataan doi. ada satu ayat di alkitab yang bilang gini, "Ia membuat segala sesuatu indah pada waktunya" dan itu bener banget, bahwa segala sesuatu yang terjadi di saat yang tepat merupakan hal yang indah, meskipun pada awalnya terlihat buruk tapi akhirnya kita akan mengerti bahwa ternyata ada sebuah gambaran besar yang hanya bisa kita pahami ketika kita berhasil melewati semua kesulitan dan melihat segala sesuatunya dari perspektif yang berbeda. 


memaksakan sesuatu untuk terjadi di waktu yang kita mau, terkadang hanya akan membuat kita kecewa atau berakhir pada sesuatu yang tidak menyenangkan (been there, done that) - karena apapun yang terpaksa dan dipaksa itu nggak akan pernah maksimal. contoh sederhananya, coba deh klo kita melakukan sesuatu karena terpaksa, dijamin seratus sepuluh persen, hasilnya nggak akan pernah maksimal :)


beberapa hal dalam hidup memerlukan apa yang namanya keikhlasan hati, karena gw percaya semesta akan mengatur jalannya sendiri dan membawa kita kepada tempat dimana seharusnya kita berada. buat gw, Tuhanlah yang bekerja melalui semesta. don't try to push our luck but keep on going with God's rhythm in our life, let Him make everything beautiful in its time.  kepasrahan dan kepercayaan kita untuk membiarkan Tuhan yang mengambil kendali atas hidup kita itulah yang disebut dengan iman. 


iman adalah bukti dari segala sesuatu yang tidak kita lihat dan dasar dari segala sesuatu yang kita harapkan. iman adalah kekuatan yang menggerakkan semesta untuk membawa kita kepada suatu tujuan dan titik-titik masa di dalam kehidupan kita. iman juga adalah kekuatan yang tercermin pada rasa percaya kita pada mimpi, cita-cita dan harapan kita. namun, untuk menggerakkan semesta, untuk mewujudkan iman, kita harus juga bergerak dalam rangkaian tindakan dan pengambilan keputusan yang selaras.  

pernah ngga kalian berpikir kalo setiap pilihan kita itu adalah bagian dari sebuah rangkaian kehidupan yang lebih besar? istilah enggresnya our choice is a part of a chain reaction. satu keputusan akan membentuk suatu rentetan sebab-akibat yang mampu mengubah kehidupan kita dan juga kehidupan orang-orang lain di sekitar kita. keputusan seringkali merupakan langkah besar dari iman dan ketika kita memutuskan sesuatu maka arah kehidupan kita akan berubah sesuai dengan reaksi dan akibat yang muncul dari keputusan yang kita ambil tersebut.


keputusan-keputusan gw di masa lalu adalah hal yang pada akhirnya membawa gw berada di masa sekarang ini. di tempat gw sekarang ini. di lingkungan gw sekarang ini. di pertemanan dan relasi dengan orang-orang yang ada di sekeliling gw sekarang ini. dan seandainya saja, gw mengambil keputusan yang berbeda di masa lalu, gw yakin banget seyakin-yakinnya gw akan memiliki masa sekarang yang berbeda dari hari ini :) - gw mungkin akan bertemu dengan orang-orang yang berbeda, mengenal dunia yang berbeda dan berada di dalam sebuah cerita yang berbeda dari kehidupan gw saat ini. entah apakah itu akan menjadi masa yang lebih baik dari apa yang gw hidupi sekarang ini gw juga ngga tau, tapi satu hal yang gw tau...jangan pernah menengok ke belakang dan menyesali apa yang terjadi di masa lalu, tapi nikmatilah dan bersyukurlah atas masa dimana kita ada sekarang karena suatu saat, masa itu akan berlalu dan berganti dengan masa yang baru. season comes and season goes. 


gw bersyukur akan masa dimana gw ada sekarang dan gw ngga mau menoleh ke masa lalu untuk menyesali keputusan apapun yang pernah gw ambil dan gw bersyukur untuk segala sesuatu yang gw alami saat ini dan semua orang yang telah Tuhan ijinkan ada di hidup gw. gw juga seringkali ngerasa terkaget-kaget ketika Tuhan mengijinkan sesuatu terjadi di hidup gw dengan cara yang ngga pernah gw pikirkan sebelumnya. He's like SUPER AWESOME. banyak hal yang gw pikir ngga pernah bisa gw jalanin sebelumnya mendadak Dia bawa dalam kehidupan gw dan gw cuma bisa melongo dan terkaget-kaget. banyak hal yang gw pikir cuma sekedar harapan / mimpi mendadak Tuhan wujudkan jadi nyata di waktu yang bahkan gw ngga nyangka dan again buat gw bengong sama caraNya yang gila banget. 


things were not always easy in the beginning but if we trust God enough, we would see that He has unimaginable ways to take us to where He wants us to be, to the dreams He has for each of us. don't give up, don't push your luck, going with God's flow and you'll see that...His favor and grace last for a lifetime and we're left with nothing but a grateful praising heart for His amazing works :)