I am listening to a podcast from Steven Furtick and he’s talking about ‘Why Rejection is Actually a Blessing’ where he talked about the story of Leah, Jacob and Rachel. Yeap, the famous Bible love-triangle.
So, I decided to re-look into the story about Leah, Jacob and Rachel.
To give you a bit of a background, I will tell you the summarised version of this love-triangle story. Leah and Rachel were sisters, daughters of Laban. As the bible noted, Leah was said to have no sparkle in her eyes (in some Bible translations it was said that Leah had a weak eyes, so maybe in this modern age, Leah was one of those who wear glasses and looking like a geek) but Rachel in the other hand had a beautiful figure and a lovely face (yes, that popular girl).
There was no sparkle in Leah’s eyes, but Rachel had a beautiful figure and a lovely face. (Genesis 29:17)
Jacob was Laban’s nephew, when he was on the run, he sought refuge in Laban’s house and during his stay there, fell in love with Rachel. He told his uncle that he wanted to marry Rachel. Laban told Jacob that if he wanted to marry Rachel then Jacob would need to work for Laban for seven years. Jacob agreed and he worked for Laban for seven years.
In the end of the agreement, Jacob came to Laban and asked him to fulfil his promise which was to marry Jacob to Rachel. So Laban married his daughter to Jacob but after the wedding night, Jacob was surprised to find out that he actually married Leah instead of Rachel. He was so upset and came to see Laban. Laban told Jacob that it was not good if Rachel as the younger sister got married before her older sister, Leah.
Then Laban came up with another condition to Jacob, Jacob could marry Rachel only if he promised that after the wedding he would work for another seven years for Laban. For the sake of his love, Jacob agreed to the condition, married Rachel and then worked for Laban for another seven years. And the Bible stated that he loved her so much.
I believe this story would ring closer to some of us. We might feel like Leah, feeling like we’re not good enough compared to other people, feeling unloved, unwanted and rejected.
When I read that Leah had weak eyes, I can totally relate to her, because me, myself, has been wearing glasses since I was young. Glasses, braces, you name it! I also have always been chubby since I was a kid so speaking of physical appearance, there was time when I really hate to look at myself in the mirror. When the common standards of beauty involving a long silky black hair, white skin and slender figure, my physical appearance was (and still is) totally the opposite of the standards.
So, in terms of physical appearance I know how it feels to compare yourself to other women and noticing that they look better, prettier and lovelier than you. It wasn’t a nice feeling at all, haha.
There are moments in life as well that I feel unloved, unwanted and rejected just because I fit in the common standards of beauty. It was a damage to my self-worth and I takes quite some time for me to really recover and starting to love myself.
Other than the physical appearance, there were a lot of things that made me feel not good enough when I compare myself to certain people. From educational background, family background, and so on. I know that as humans, some of us might feel the same thing and it can be very painful.
Just like Leah. Imagine that a man was married to you not because of he loved you but because he loved your sister, who was said as more beautiful than you. Imagine how painful it must be. But interestingly, this is what the Bible says:
When the Lord saw that Leah was unloved, he enabled her to have children, but Rachel could not conceive. (Genesis 29:31)
For sure I believe that, God saw her tears at night as her heart was broken of the rejection and the loneliness, because she felt that she was the unwanted one. So, to continue the verse, God enabled her to do something that her sister could not do.
That’s something that God does best. He choose the unloved, the unwanted, the rejected and He does great things through them. He’s the God who choose the unchosen, those who are unfit the world's standards, those who are underestimated (remember David), because God sees what’s inside of us. Our potential. Our future.
All of us will deal with rejection from time to time, rejection is not a dead end, but it’s a redirection. If people reject us it’s a sign that they’re not the right one for us anyway, when a group of people reject us sometimes it’s the sign that they are flying too low and we have no business in their altitude anyway because God will take us even higher.
We don’t need the approval from the Jacobs in our lives just to prove our worth if we know that God has chosen us since the beginning and He has everything good in His hands for us. If you feel like a Leah today, know that you are loved. You are created to be loved and you don’t need to seek for the approval from those who cannot love you and accept you the way you are. Just look to the One who created you with love, who knows you inside and out and love you still.
This is not only for women but also for men, for everyone who has been in pain of rejection in their lives. I have been there and I know how painful it is, I have been through a time where I wish I can change everything in me, where I wish life is different for me, where I wish my family condition is better and I can have the life like those people I’m comparing myself with. But, knowing God and having a personal journey with Him, it changes everything.
I know God loves me as who I am and I like that. My hair might always be short, my body might need extra effort to be a little bit better in terms of shape and my skin would always be tan, but I love myself the way I am just fine :D - I love my smile. I love my eyes. I love me. With God, I learn to recognise my strength and my weaknesses. I learn how to develop my strength and overcome my weaknesses. Of course I still stumble and fail but I always learn how to get back up again, how to forgive not just other people but also myself, learn something and move on.
It’s not as easy as flipping your palm upside down but surely, the way to healing starts with acceptance and forgiveness. It starts from within. You cannot change some things in your life, but you can change something, you can change how you look at things and you can open your heart to trust the One who made it.
Stop wasting time on people who don’t love you. Find those who do love you and most importantly, look into the mirror, find the real you and start loving yourself. I know how it feels to live on seeking for approval from other people and I can definitely tell you that it's definitely not worth it. If people cannot love you for who you are then no matter how hard you try to win their approval or acknowledgment, it still won't make them love you. So, move on and settle down with people who love you for who you are, who celebrate you, trust you and will always encourage you to be the best version of you.
Remember, just because you are rejected doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong in you, maybe people just can’t see what’s inside of you. If they do, if they can see how precious you are, how wonderful your heart is, how great your talents are, how sharp you mind is…they would think twice. *virtual hugs to those who might be feeling down and unloved today* - You matter, you are precious and the world still needs you.
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