Until One Day.

When you fall in love, sometimes your head is up in the clouds that you forget about reality.

Until one day you realise that, a beautiful face is nothing compares to a great character and a heart that loves you. You will realise that the person who smiles when they see you is worth more than just a person who makes you smile when you see them. You will realise that the person who texts you first just to let you know that they’re thinking of you in the mid of the busy days is worth more than a person who replies to your text when they have the time.

You will realise that a person who can take care of you is worth more than a person that always let you take care of things for them. You will realise that a person who would ask you to spend their weekends with you is worth more than a person that tells you about their weekends. You will realise that a person who would take you on a ride is worth more than a person that tells you about their new rides. You will realise that a person who would wake up in the morning just to bring you breakfast is worth more than a person that say thank you when you bring them breakfast. 

You will eventually realise that a person who loves you just the way you are is worth more than a person who says 'good job' on your effort to look beautiful for them.

You will eventually realise that a person who treats you special is worth more than a person that always treat every other girls the same. You will eventually realise that a person who falls in love with your soul and heart is worth more than a person who praises you for looking good.

You will eventually realise that it’s worth more to fall in love with someone whose eyes lit when they talk about you, who adore you, who constantly support you and always encourage you, who loves you, your flaws, your awkward laugh, who always know what to say when you’re down, who appreciates you  and your strength, who is proud of your qualities and talents, who can treasure your opinions, ideas and thoughts.

You will eventually realise that falling in love with a person who can hold their commitment is worth more that a person who gives sweet promises. You will eventually realise that it is better to fall in love with a person whom you don’t always have to be worry of what’s they're doing when they're not with you because you can trust their heart.

You will eventually realise that it’s better to fall in love with a person who knows how to respect you, honor you and cherish you...as much as you respect, honor and cherish them. 

Travel Time of The Year.

Starting my morning with a cup of warm camomile & lemongrass tea, I feel so English (well, maybe not).

For the past few weeks, I have been dealing with myself a lot, the thoughts, the mental issues and everything related to what I feel and what I want. I just don’t feel right with everything I am and everything I’m doing right now.

I was going to book myself a flight to Ambon and stay at Ora Beach for a week, away from anyone, hoping to find an epiphany about my life, but instead I decided to check a flight to Gothernburg, Sweden. If it’s really happening, this is going to be my first solo trip abroad. Crazy huh? Yes, I do think so myself. But somehow, I just need to get away from everything that’s been busy hustling and buzzing inside my head and planning the trip seems like a good distraction.

Why Sweden? Simply because one of my favorite singer and songwriter, Jonas myrin, originally came from Sweden although he’s been living out of a suitcase here and there but, maybe (just maybe) if the time is right and Heaven is so kind, it would be possible to accidentally bump into him in Stockholm, well just as how many people are there living in Stockholm? It would not be that imposssible right?

And why Gothenburg? Well, around two years ago, when I travelled to Phuket, Thailand with some friends, we met this sweet lady from Sweden who was also having her vacation there. We went to Phi-Phi Island together and caught in some great conversation (i love making new friends on vacation!). In the end, we exchanged email, addresses and added each other on facebook. She told me that I am welcome to visit her at any time in Sweden, so when I was contemplating in choosing where to go, she suddenly popped in my mind.

After checking what I would need for visa application and everything, I decided that Gothenburg will be the destination for my first solo traveling abroad. I have to say that it’s kind of scary and exciting at the same time, it’s a long time feeling that I’ve been missed since life has been so boring and only evolving around my frustrating feeling and broken heart. I know that this trip might cost me A LOT (and possibly draining every penny that I have in my saving accounts), however, I need to set a goal in my life and this trip is definitely going to help me to focus and get me excited to have something to look forward to.

Getting away from the familiarity seems like something that I need to recover and figure out what I want to do with my life. I’m going to be 30 this year and still struggling in figuring out what to do with my life (for goodness’ sake) or maybe I’m just trying to find some courage to really take the direction to the kind of life I want.

Well, I don’t know. We’ll see since it’s still in the next six months. My plan was going to get married mid this year but since I don't think it's going to happen unless Heaven is snapping the magic fingers on the situation, I'm sticking to the travel plan to Gothenburg. However, things could change in between and I’m being flexible. So, let's just see how it goes :))

The Unrequited Love.

“Lesson Number One: All the time traveling in the world can't make someone love you. “ – About Time.

Charlie Brown once said, “Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.”  -- Charlie loves peanut butter and when he experienced unrequited love, even his favorite peanut butter tasted bitter.

When you fall in love with someone, it is easy to remember everything about them.

You remember their favorites, you remember their favorite songs, you remember their favorite movies, you know what makes them laugh, you remember their scent, you know how they would eat their toast, you know their habit, you would recognize their signature movements, your world simply evolves around them and you are aware of every single thing that they do or feel.

Then comes the fact.

They don’t feel the same way as you feel about them.

The world crumbles. All of the sudden everything you remember, things that used to make you smile, now they make you feel sad. Something is broken inside, unseen but the pain feels so real.

The kind of pain that would take any kind of taste out from anything you’ve ever liked.

And nothing you can do about it because there’s no formula on how to make someone loves you back. 

My pastor’s wife once said this face slapping truth, “Even if you wear an oversized bando and running around to get a guy’s attention, it won’t work. Why? Simply because he’s just not that into you.”

Yes, we need to deal with that fact that the other person is just not that into us.

When someone doesn’t love us back, it doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong in us. It doesn’t mean that we are not smart enough, not beautiful enough or not worthy enough to be loved.No, it’s simply because they just don’t feel the same way about us.

We might see someone else in their eyes and they might never look at us the way we look at them, those will break our heart but eventually, we will learn how to let go and move on.

When someone doesn't love you back, wish them all the best and let go because you are worth to be loved by someone who would treasure all the qualities in you and love you for who you are.

Live your life to the fullest, enjoy every moment and appreciate everyone. Keep your heart open and don't be bitter.

Remember that it is good to be happy with someone but it is better if that someone is happy to be with us too :)